A Lesson in Humility

When I was going through my postpartum depression & anxiety, I was miserable. I couldn't see how anything good could possibly come from all of this suffering. I look back and realize that my postpartum experience has changed me, for the better.

Before every thing was black and white. I unknowingly put myself on a pedestal. I thought I had all the answers. I thought that I knew a lot more than I really did. I didn't have very many life experiences to draw from. I really had no clue. I hadn't suffered or been through many trials.

My experience has taught me compassion. I thought I was compassionate and empathetic before. Now I actually understand more about compassion and empathy.

My work as a 911 operator has allowed me to talk to several mentally ill and emotionally unstable people. I felt concern for them, but I had no comprehension of what's it's like to not be able to trust your own mind or to be unable to control what's happening. Now I understand quite a bit more. I can relate on a different level.

I thought I was strong. I ought to be able to handle motherhood. The problem was that I was thinking in terms of "ME" too much. God wants us to put our faith completely in him. Sometimes we need a nudge to get us to the point where we aren't trying to do things in our own power. I had to be reminded that I am the clay & God is the potter. I was more like dried up play-dough.

1 Peter 5:5-7 "...God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you
in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

God wants us to have joy & victory. He knows how difficult our life may be. Life is hard. Each day brings new challenges and struggles, especially for a mother of a baby and/or young children. Children grow fast. This will only last a short time. I know when you're going through it, each day seems to drag so slowly. But it will pass.